Writing about yourself elicits dread you haven’t experienced since sitting your school exams. We turned to the dating experts for profile tips to make you the kind of woman men fight for online…
By Julie Hodister
- Be Specific
Make it easier on yourself (and fun to read) by telling specific stories and anecdotes you enjoy. “You want your matches to get a sense of who you are through your words, and the best way to do that is to tell a quick story,” says Julie Spira, Dating Expert and founder of www.cyberdatingexpert.com . She recommends brainstorming key words that describe your life and what interests you, “Put this word cloud of your life together, and it will help you build out the most important things to cover and where you might find connection points with other people.”
- Spice it Up!
UK Dating Coach Jo Barnett advises adding something fun and spicy to your profile. “For example talk about the last holiday where you enjoyed something adventurous. Or what you think about Fifty Shades of Grey? Describe the best sides to you, what makes you good company and worth taking out on a date! You can even mention what your friends say about you,” she says at www.datingcoachme.uk .
- Picture Perfect?
Achieving a swoon-worthy profile includes using great, honest and recent photos. “My top photo rule is to upload more than one,” advises Davis Spira of www.cyberdatingexpert.com “It’s important to give your matches a sense of what you really look like. Upload four to six images, and make sure there are a variety of different types of photos.” Need a few new pics? Google ‘tricks to looking great in photos’ for help and make sure you include photos of yourself in a natural environment, plus full-length shots.
- No Clichés
“Be genuine and avoid clichés (um, who doesn’t love to laugh?), and be authentic (translation: don’t lie about your age)” www.cyberdatingexpert.com ’s Julie Spira says. Don’t come off as a clone. There are thousands of other girls out there describing themselves as “smart, sweet, fun,” and blokes have learned to dismiss dates because of such generic descriptions.
The Relationship Experts at Cosmopolitan magazine reckon it’s a mistake not to self-promote on your online profile. “You might be hesitant to really play up your assets because you worry it will make you seem cocky or self-involved. But leaving out interesting info, like how you’re awesome at snowboarding or speak two languages, results in a lackluster first impression,” they advise at www.cosmpolitan.com “Another trick is to pretend it’s a job you’re trying to get, not a date, since women tend to find it easier to really sell themselves in a work setting.”
- Avoid Lists of No-No’s
“It is a huge mistake to create a massive list of turnoffs, deal-breakers and qualities that you are not looking for in a partner,” advises Online Dating and Relationship Expert, Joshua Pomey, on www.huffingtonpost.com . “While you may think this is a productive way to ward off unwanted suitors, all it does is make men think that you are a negative person and possibly jaded by one too many bad dates. The key to your profile is to attract the ones you do want by appearing to be a happy, fun-loving person.”
- Tailor it!
“You need to tailor your dating profile to your ‘audience’ (which in this case means the person or people you would like to meet),” says Shimrit Elisar ,Dating Expert blogger at www.onlinedatingbook.co.uk “But what I’ve noticed a lot of people do is write one profile and then use it on several sites,” she says.” You want your profile to stand out, you want it to appeal and attract and most of all, you want it to represent who you are, but you also want to stay enough within the limits of the site so as to fit in and not put off people.”
- Don’t Procrastinate
One of the biggest things to remember about writing your profile, is to, JUST DO IT! UK Confidence Expert, Annie Ashdown, says it’s important to realise that life is all about, “progress, not perfection. We procrastinate because we’re terrified of failure,” she writes on her blog, www.annieashdown.com, “You should let go of the perfectionism habit, accept you are perfectly imperfect and MAKE IT HAPPEN. You will feel so empowered once you get onto what you have been avoiding doing.”
- Show off your smartness
Kate Taylor knows more than a thing or two about online dating. Author of five books on sex and dating, she’s Match.com’s UK resident Dating Expert. Kate reckons its mega important not to hide your brain online. “Singletons value humour, intelligence and shared-values more highly than attractiveness when they’re looking for love,” she blogs at www.lovekatetaylor.com . “Take time to ensure everything you publish on the net displays these qualities.”
- Size matters!
The length of your description about yourself is also important, says Matt Hughes, a dating expert based in the UK. “Too long or ‘essay-like’ and those visiting your profile will switch off, too short and you leave no hooks in which to intrigue and captivate any potential matches,” he says at www.relationshipexpert.co.uk .”Profiles missing a description will likely have a lower success rate than those that include one. With a properly crafted description you can interweave humour. Single men and single women both point to humour being an important characteristic they look for in the opposite sex and your description is the best chance of illustrating that point.”