You’re cute, sexy, intelligent and popular, with a wide circle of friends, so why the heck can’t you find a date? Take our advice from the experts to help you find the perfect hook up…
By Julie Hodister
- Venture Out
Break out of your comfort zone because there really are plenty of great men out there just waiting to meet a wonderful woman like you. Quit flirting in the same old locations (the gym = yawn) and try joining a new group or going to a pub quiz, or sports bar you’ve never been to before and you’ll increase your chances of meeting Mr. Right. As dating expert Caroline Brealey (www.carolinebrealey.co.uk) points out, “Sometimes it’s just a case of not yet crossing paths with ‘the one’.”
- Catch His Eye
You want to show a new guy that you’re available, without literally throwing yourself at him. So, make a little eye contact. It’s the most important body language for both sexes says relationship expert and coach, Jo Hemmings (www.johemmings.co.uk). “If you want to deliver a message without speaking you would hold someone’s eyes,” says Jo. “The danger is it makes you look bonkers if you hold it too long. You need to time it perfectly.” Throw that hot guy a sexy glance across the bar. It may bring him right over!
- Have the Power
Whilst you are not necessarily to blame for not currently having the man of your dreams, you are the only one with the power to change that. You are the only one who can improve your love life and that means taking responsibility for it and upping your self-esteem says relationship writer and blogger Louisa Leontiades (www.postmodernwoman.com). “Once you do truly believe you’re worth more, then you won’t be attracted to assholes anymore,” she says. Remember, “You deserve love from someone who isn’t an asshole!”
- Be Independent
Guys are attracted to women that have their own lives. Period. The last thing they want is for you to shadow them or be their lapdog. Seriously. Don’t ever dump your friends or family if he calls. Never make yourself too available. “We want you to have your own set of friends, activities, and passions,” says John Kim at www.mindbodygreen.com . “We want you to have your own identity. Because, if you have nothing that is yours, our relationship is standing on one leg.”
- Get Online!
“Yes, it’s freakin’ HARD to meet someone,” says relationship expert and coach Evan Marc Katz (www.evanmarckatz.com). “We have our small lives: our circle of married friends, our work buddies, a few single people, and that’s it. And as you get into your mid-30′s, the bar scene is really old and set-ups have become a bit of a joke,” he says. “While it’s nice to say, “I want to meet someone organically, where our eyes meet, so I can feel chemistry”, that simply doesn’t happen very often. This is why I believe in online dating. Not because it’s perfect – not by a long shot. But because it creates opportunity where previously there was none.” So, fire up your computer. The man of your dreams just might be online!
Former AOL UK Editor, Julie Hodister, has written for numerous women’s and teen magazines including, Heat, Bliss, Dare, more! 19, Smash Hits, Big! J17, Q, Sky and Chat.