Continuing our mission to bring you the absolute best in dating advice, Strictly Dating caught up with Nixalina, founder and editor of Award Winning Blog ‘Sex & London City’
S&LC delivers on a weekly basis: top fashion trends, make-up tutorials, celebrity interviews, launch parties coverage, press events, as well as delving in to the witty and brutal reality of being a single woman looking for love in the Big Smoke. The relationship and dating articles have attracted global followers and have prompted her nickname throughout the industry as London’s real-life answer to ‘Carrie Bradshaw’.
So first of all, explain how and why you became a dating blogger?
I started a blog for my own interest and passion with the written word; a fashion and beauty blog which had nothing to do with dating. I had so many funny stories I started to integrate weekly features on dating called Sex & London City. After I realized the huge response these features received, I decided to rebrand my entire site to Sex & London City. It all spiraled from there. It has been a whirlwind but I’ve loved every moment!
What’s the worst thing a person could possibly do on a first date?
Use their phone constantly over a dinner table. It is rude and will make the other person feel like they don’t even want to be there. You have to engage with the other if you have made an effort to actually go on a date.
We’ve all heard the saying “first impressions last a lifetime.” But what if you fail at making a good first impression? Is there any hope for recovery?
I really don’t know…I’d say no however, I am well aware many couples start off hating each other! Hate is a strong emotion and often we don’t understand why someone gets under our skin so much…until we realise that actually it is because we have stronger feelings for them. Plus, I’ve had some great initial trysts with men and then when we’ve hung out some more, I learnt that they were not quite the person I thought they were and I stopped seeing them.
What’s the piece of dating advice you find yourself giving most often?
To stop the social media stalking. It is unhealthy and everybody does it – all it breeds is paranoia and insecurity. Love flourished so much easier before we could all find out exactly what our current potential was up to last night, last week and 4 years before. It is too easy to make assumptions and stories up in your head. Social media kills dating!
It’s an age-old question, that nobody seems to know the answer to: Can men and women really be friends?
haha this is quite topical actually as I had a boy mate over last night…just for a catch up. Yes, I believe so. Although I think sometimes I am naive in that my boy mates maybe do have another invested interest in me…but from my point of view I have the guys I am into and I have the guys I love to hang out with as friends. There is a clear distinction.
Finally what are your top 5 tips for dating success?
1. Never act any way other than yourself. If you try too hard or try be someone you think they are looking for… they’re never going to fall in love with the real you.
2. Don’t demand their time or attention, allow them to offer it freely. You cannot force someone to act or be a certain way.
3. Do not throw yourself in at the deep end straight away. The candle that burns twice as bright lasts half as long.
4. Make an effort to do things together that are outside of the bedroom. You can forget sometimes to actually get to know someone properly!
5. Learn when to walk away. Very important.
Read more from Nixalina at http://www.sexandlondoncity.co.uk/ or https://twitter.com/Nixalina