We recently caught with up with Mary G. Malia, the founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach and asked her what advice she had for our Strictly Dating members.
Tell us about your background and what took you into the field of date coaching?
My professional background includes 10 years as a licensed minister doing counseling, then I moved onto the corporate world doing organizational development and executive and leadership development. From there, I’ve run two national non-profits and done extensive business and training consulting. What brought me to dating coaching was my experiences running community meetups for lesbians. So many women struggled with dating, relationships and building friendships and I knew I could make a difference for women. I created Gay Girl Dating Coach to meet the needs of women who struggle with dating and relationships. If you make better dating decisions, you’ll end up in a better relationship.
Do you give different advice from what I might hear from a “straight” coach? Should there even be a distinction?
I only work with lesbians at this point in time. Though many things are the same, like what do to on a first date or how to determine deal breakers in dating, many things in lesbian culture are very different from straight culture.
What are the top 3 dating or relationship issues you come across most often?
1) In the straight world, it’s pretty much up to the guy to ask the girl out. In lesbian land, who does the asking is a real issue that I’m always helping clients with. My advice on this one, is stop waiting for the other woman to ask you out and be the chooser… ask her out!
2) Many women approach online dating totally wrong and so feel it’s a big waste of time. Few people understand how to really use an online dating search engine or how to create an effective profile. You really do need great pictures even more than a well written profile and I’m always encouraging my clients to keep their pictures up to date!
3) Getting lazy or overwhelmed and quitting on finding love. I meet so many women who haven’t been on a date in years or maybe only one or two in a year. Women think they should be able to find “the one” almost without effort and that’s not the case. You need a plan and a process that keeps you in the game and you also need to stay inspired because it’s probably going to take going on with a lot more than one woman to find that great match. So I help my clients to keep their eye on the goal while also staying active in the dating game. I really do believe that love is available for anyone that’s willing to keep showing up and keep dating.
The Gay Girl Love Tour has been going on for a year now. I travel to cities across the USA holding workshops and inspiring women to get out there and start dating. I share Dating Power Tools and insider information about online dating, how to get out of your dating rut and the details that can make the difference in going from dating to finding your great lesbian soul mate. It’s fun, packed with powerful insights and full of single lesbians. So far I’ve been to 20 cities and had a couple hundred lesbian involved in my workshops. It’s always fun. I love it.
Finally – the best bit of advice you have ever received?
The best bit of advice I’ve received in life is take care of your health! Don’t ignore your body. Only you can do it. The 2nd best bit of advice I’ve been given is to lighten up and have more fun. So I help women take this into their dating life. It might take a lot more first dates to get to that love you’re looking for than you expect, so lighten up and have fun with the process.
Mary G. Malia is the founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, an exclusive service focusing on helping lesbians find love in an increasingly chaotic world where love is driven by technology.
Founded to help lesbians discover how to date successfully, Mary has worked with lesbians around the globe and is sought out as an expert dating blogger She is also the creator of the 1st ever virtual summit for lesbians, The Live Your Best Lesbian Life Global Telesummit and The Gay Girl Love Tour ~ Bringing Dating Workshops to Lesbians Across the USA.
Find our more at http://www.gaygirldatingcoach.com/